Two Years Ago Today...

we found out I was pregnant. Some of my friends and family members have used their blogs to reflect and I’d like to do that today. Becoming a mother was something that I always wanted, but never knew if I could have. I knew from an early age that things weren’t quite right with me and I feared that I would have troubles. Unfortunately, I was right. Hearing the words, “You’re pregnant” or seeing those double lines on a stick were always something I wanted to hear/see, but never knew if I would. Little did I know that in God’s time and with the help of Him guiding the doctors’ hands, we would become doubly blessed.
It was not the moment that I had envisioned, but it would do. I had years to think about how I would tell Louis and our parents, and being the planner that I am, I had it all planned out, well, once again, God laughed. Instead of leaving Louis the book My Daddy and Me, on his pillow and instead of inviting both sets of parents over for dinner to tell them they would be grandparents, I found out in a hospital room. I had been over stimulated during my 5th IUI attempt; however, it was not to the point that the made me cancel. My estradiol was through the roof and there were possible side effects. Immediately after my IUI I started to swell like a balloon. Eleven days later I had enough. My pants didn’t fit, my back hurt, and I was in pain. I looked like I was at least 4 months pregnant. People were starting to talk and I felt like it was a cruel joke – to look pregnant and have people talk when you’re trying so hard to become pregnant and can’t. I went into the doctors and they did an ultrasound. I had OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome). My abdomen was swelling with fluid that it was robbing from the surrounding tissues; therefore, I was becoming dehydrated. I needed to have it drained and they needed to pump fluids in me. The ultrasound tech did say that my lining was very think and it looked like a pregnant woman’s uterus. I tried hard to get my hopes up, but it was hard not to.
They had to admit me to the nasty Emory at Crawford Long Hospital and I cried. This would be the first time I stayed in the hospital and I was scared. Little did I know that the hospital would soon become my second home. They took my blood to do a pregnancy test and I waited to be admitted.
Later that night, while Louis, my parents, his parents, and I were all crammed into a tiny hospital room, I got a call from Dr. Jessica Spencer (highly recommend her). She called and told me that my BETA was 150!!! My response was, “It is???” That’s all the people in the room heard. Then I started crying. I knew through all my research and everything that I was pregnant. Everyone else in the room didn’t know what to think because they were waiting for the words, “I am??” I got off the phone, looked at Louis with tears in my eyes and told him, we were pregnant!!! Once again, not the story I thought it would be, but I remember it fondly.
I honestly thought that would be my only trial, but I was wrong. I had a very difficult pregnancy and difficult first months of being a mother. Some things I’m still not able to talk about. It still hurts too bad.
But, what I have learned is that things don’t always go as planned, part of being an adult is making difficult decisions, sometimes they change you forever and you wish you had never been faced with them, everything I went through was so worth it when I look into my sweet angels’ eyes or get a hug or a kiss, lean on your husband – God made them emotionally strong and you’ll become stronger together for it, and parenting is a challenge, but the good far out ways the bad.

Anyways, here are some pictures of my precious little miracles from today. I thank God everyday that I have them and pray that He never separates us.

This is how Mary Elizabeth went up the stairs to her playroom.

Mckinley doing her Melissa and Doug puzzle. They love them Lauren, thanks for the tip.

This one will melt your heart. Daddy has been gone for 4 days now. Today, Mary Elizabeth got a picture of her daddy holding them down from her dresser and insisted that it go to bed with her. She took her afternoon nap with it. She is such a Daddy's girl and you can tell that she misses her Daddy. She's pointing to her Daddy in this pictures.